Susan’s Mailbox

First, as the subtitle of my book Growing in Love and Wisdom suggests (Tibetan Buddhist Sources for Christian Meditation), I do not think returning to Christianity requires one to completely turn one¹s back to all things Buddhist. My own Christian prayer/meditation life is greatly enriched by the meditation practices I learned as a Buddhist. Indeed, it was finding some of the meditations I learned as a Buddhist almost spontaneously arising in my prayer after returning to Christianity that prompted me to write the book that I did. In addition, some of Buddhist teachings have analogues in Christianity and I found the one helpful in deepening my understanding of the other.

Second, with respect to yidams, I think what you describe as the “Catholic response” (and I’m not sure which Catholics you are talking to) depends on how you view it. Certainly if you viewed the deity forms as themselves something you worshipped, I would understand their concern. But if you see them as meditational devices, how are they any different than reading or meditating about saints who embody virtues we desire to emulate. When I visualize the communion of saints (which always reminds me of visualization as part of the 35 Buddhas practice), front and center are those saints who are the most meaningful to me. So to me it is an issue of motive and purpose. I have never thought of Tara as a manifestation of Mary, but I remember a time I was reflecting on a poem of Gerard Manley Hopkins that made me Thousand Armed Chenrezig as a way of thinking of Jesus. The bottom line seems to me – does it help you in developing in Christian discipleship?

Third, with respect to tantric vows, I no longer keep those vows (and I don’t believe that puts me in vajra hell or any other kind of hell). I ultimately did not find the requirements of those vows helpful to even my Buddhist practice and so never considered bringing them into my Christian one. Having said that, one of the meditations in Growing in Love and Wisdom is based on tantric practice.

I hope this is helpful. If you want to discuss any of this further, I’d be happy to. And you might find it useful to take a look at my book. It gives you some sense of how I have resolved some of these issues for myself.

To the extent you feel that your past failings have impacted them, is that something you can talk about with them?  I think that in itself would be a great learning: to say, there are ways I messed up, things I could have done better.  You might think about whether there are conversations that it would be good to have with them.

The reality is that we make mistakes.  There are many things I wish were different about my past – ways I behaved that I don’t think were admirable.  But I can’t change that.  All I can do is be the best person I can be from this moment on.  I’ll still make mistakes, and we can regret those mistakes.  But we need to dust ourselves off and moe forward and not allow what we did or didn’t do in the past to paralyze us.

I also think Pope Benedict’s book St. Paul, which is a collection of his general audiences about Paul is quite good, and also very approachable.

Finally, while he was still Cardinal Ratzinger, he wrote a book with Hans Urs von Balthasar on Mary, titled Mary, Church at the Source. I thought Benedict’s portion of that book was very good and accessible. (The portion written by von Balthasar is less accessible.)

I have a number of others on my bookshelves, but haven’t looked at them in long enough time to be able to evaluate their approachability.

The studies do not change my view of the value of prayer for both the pray-er or the object of the prayer; they show only that one cannot effectively command a particular result.

The Dalai Lama was not downplaying the role of faith or suggesting that religion is not important. (In fact, he thinks it is important to respect all religions.) Rather, he was saying we need to ground ethics in an approach that can be acceptable to all people, regardless of their religious tradition.

The answer to the second question depends on what it means to be Catholic. I didn’t self-identify as Catholic for 20 years I was a Buddhist, so if self-identification is what defines one as Catholic, then no, I was not. However, from a Catholic sacramental understanding, Baptism creates an indelible seal and so from a sacramental standpoint, I suppose one could say I was never not a Catholic.

Third, and related to the second, a habit of daily prayer is very important. I know it is difficult to find the time – for me it means getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning to have an undisturbed time. But like going to Mass, it centers me – I start the day reminded of who I am with God. Even if it is not a long period – even if you can only manage 10-15 quiet minutes with God, that would be a help. I don’t know what your prayer practice is like. I can make some suggestions for daily prayer if you like – including a daily examen, which is part of my daily prayer.
Fourth, I think that “reminders” are useful. One thing you might consider doing during the week is carrying your pocket a small cross or a stone that has significance. Almost doesn’t matter what it is so long as it has an association with God for you. Then, every time you put your hand in your pocket it is there….just as a reminder. just something to bring you back to God.

Finally, it is very difficult not to have a community of people to support you. Even if not in your own church, it would be great if you could find some way to get some communal support – in the form of occasional youth group meetings or some service project of something like that. Hopefully when you go off to college you will find some group to be part of.

I recently gave a brief reflection on “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted,” in light of my experience of 9/11. You might find it helpful to listen to that podcast; it offers perhaps the best answer I can give to your question. You can listen to the podcast here: http://susanjoan.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/blessed-are-they-who-mourn/

I encourage you to read the USCCB’s Forming Conscience for Faithful Citizenship, which you can access here: http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/faithful-citizenship/forming-consciences-for-faithful-citizenship-document.cfm.